About Us

We’re old. We’re grumpy. And you can take your “that’s toxic masculinity” attitude and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine!

We’re Old Grumpy Guys — your go-to group of boomers and Gen-Xers with the best apparel and drinkware. 

Our designs go beyond just being funny. They echo everything you’ve always wanted to say but can’t because of “safe spaces” and “political correctness.”

We’ve had it up to here with what these young-uns are preaching, and we’re taking a stand with our high-quality, American-made products. 

Look no further if you’re looking for a shirt or mug that says “To hell with it! Let’s trigger some young-uns for kicks!”

Wear our good old-fashioned American values with pride. Check out our merchandise and designs that make being a curmudgeon cool again!

“They Said What Now?!”  

My buddy and I have one thing in common — we grew up in simpler times.  

  • Left is left. 
  • Right is right. 
  • Men were men. 
  • Ladies were ladies.
  • Music was music (What’s this AUTOTUNE you speak of?)
  • And you only got a medal for finishing first, second, or third. 

You can understand how ticked off it makes us when we see the opposite of these values being preached these days. All this politically correct, “participation trophy” stuff gets us red in the gills — and we just couldn’t stand for it anymore. 

So we came up with an idea. 

“What if we just said what we wanted to — no filter, no frills, and none of this Gen-Z crap?” 

That’s when we got our big “AHA!” moment. 

We decided to put our messaging on shirts and merchandise to show what we and many others feel about the current status of our country. Our designs are things we’ve said about today’s values. Because they just keep getting nuttier and nuttier, our designs keep growing — and so does the amount of people that agree with our message. 

When you see one of our hoodies tell you “we’ve been saying crazy sh!t before you were born,” it’s no catchphrase. We mean it!

What We Do Best 

We cover the essentials. By “essentials,” we’re talking about what goes on your back and where your coffee goes. 

Quality apparel and drinkware is what we do best. Choose from our range of graphic tees that’ll fit you like a glove and add a whole new meaning to the word “curmudgeon.”  

We’ve selected only the finest materials for our graphic pullover hoodies too. Just like our tees, our hoodies are going to turn some heads. Whether the attention you get out of them is positive or negative… that, we can’t be sure of, but you get a product that really shows your personality!

Thirsty? Drink up in the spirit of good old-fashioned American conservative humor with our mugs. Each mug comes with our logo and slogan: “Saying crazy sh!t since before you were born.” 

Most importantly, we don’t just make the best graphic apparel and drinkware. We come up with relatable crap. If you think of a saying and feel it’s got to be on a mug or tee, we probably have it on one of ours.

Why So Serious?!

We get it. With each product we release and with every customer that walks out in our hoodies and mugs, we offend at least one person. 

We say what needs to be said. If we get a few laughs here and there (and we do), that’s a win in our book. 

We pride ourselves on products that boast quality and comedic value. More importantly, we’d like to think we give other old grumpy guys and gals a voice with every hilarious — but honest — saying on our apparel and drinkware. 

If we’ve caused any offense, allow us to be the first to say this: WE DON’T CARE!

Either you’re laughing, or — at the very least — we are! 

Everything We Want To Say, Printed in the USA!

A lot of younger people don’t seem to care where their mugs, shirts, and hoodies come from as long as they “match their drip” — whatever the heck “drip” means. 

However, we believe in American-produced products. 

When you receive our merchandise, know that: 

  • We don’t care how triggering it is. 
  • It’s as American as apple pie. 
  • It was designed/printed/made right here in the USA! 

You’re in for good, old-fashioned, American, quality craftsmanship. We guarantee it! 

Returns and Refunds

Besides our snarky honesty and logistic practices, we also pride ourselves on keeping you, our lovely no-nonsense customers, happy. We’ve got an easy, hassle-free return policy that’s guaranteed to make getting refunds easier than mowing the lawn.

All you need to do is get in touch with our customer support team. While you’re at it, keep your merchandise in the same condition you got it. That means keep the tags on, and don’t throw away the packaging just yet. 

When you contact our customer support team, you’ll get a return number and a shipping address. Simply send the merchandise to the shipping address, and you’ll get a quick refund.

Refunds don’t take long. We usually process them in as little as three to five business days. If it takes longer, our customer support team will be glad to follow-up your refund request.   

Getting Grumpy Never Gets Old With Old Grumpy Guys Merchandise

We’re an American-based company that designs apparel and drinkware that screams “up yours” to the status quo. Each of our designs says everything you want to say but couldn’t.

If you’re looking for merchandise that’s all about political correctness, safe spaces, and all that nonsense, look elsewhere. 

If you want apparel and drinkware that makes your day at the expense of all these snowflakes, you’ll love what we’ve got to offer. 

Getting grumpy never gets old with our merchandise. Check out our snarky shirts, hoodies, and drinkware, or reach out if you’ve got some statements you want to see on our stuff!